Monthly Archives: October 2015

The Ballad of St. Urban the Urbane

A translation of the original Vita Urbani Beati Urbani into the vulgar tongue

St. Urban from an early age
~~Was known to follow fashion
He rushed to buy the newest rage
~~ With pure and holy passion

When just a child of five years old
~~He held the crowds agog
With words and sounds he had been told
~~Were soon to be en vogue

At age fifteen he did disdain
~~To pray with menial beads
(It did too much his style restrain)
~~Which was his only creed

Instead the newest luxury
~~He must have double quick
Else would he moan and cry ʻʻYou see
~~Itʼs making me quite sick!ʼʼ

Soon all the fashionable flocked
~~To see the famous Urban
So much that all the roads were blocked
~~By pilgrims wearing turbans.

The earnest fashion devotees
~~Would hang upon his lips
As he pronounced whose clothes did please
~~And passed on fashion tips

One day as he went out-a-doors
~~(Inside was ʻoutʼ again)
The crush of clumsy pilgrim bores
~~Squashed him by accidenʼ

Too young this fashion-martyr died
~~Upon the shopping mile
As final sacrifice he sighed
~~ʻʻAt least I died in styleʼʼ

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Filed under Humour